words and thoughts

New Model Army. I remember listening to them for the first time when I was 15. Listening to Vengeance in the sixth form common room and being an ‘angry young girl’. I am now 2 weeks away from being 36 and still they excite me as they did 21 years ago. I’ve just been to see them in Stroud’s Sub Rooms and I’m still buzzing. The have a cult following who are so passionate about their music they are in an almost trance like state throughout the gig. The majority of people have never heard of them, which is an utter, utter shame. Justin Sullivan’s lyrics and voice are an honour to hear, yet he is such a humble man. I am covered in sweat, my voice has gone and I can’t move my neck. It was a good night.

Four o’clock in the morning
still we cannot sleep.
Turning over, turning round
twisted in our sweat.
They say there is no rest
for the wicked ones.
Dear God what have we done

Well, I’ve just been to see the new Indiana Jones film and I loved it. Say no more.

We have a ‘regular’* at work who is so ‘ill’ that he can’t come into the shop, although he manages to drive his car there every day. Well I was in the dispensary when I heard him honk his horn so I went out to give him his medication. When I went outside I was confronted by this man sucking on a mini, portable oxygen mask! I immediately thought of Dennis Hopper as Frank Booth in Blue Velvet and it completely freaked me out!

*AKA drug addict

Yes, I’m a loser.

In the best possible way though. I joined Weight Watchers with my sister 4 weeks ago and since then I have ost almost 1/2 a stone!!! I am very happy by this indeed

I’ve just been on another site that I sometimes frequent and was very annoyed by what I read. This woman was saying how she had next week off. For those without children next week is half term. She was moaning that she had to spend the whole week with her daughter. This annoys me somewhat. I would LOVE to spend some time with my daughter but right now I just can’t. Since my work mate died we have found it impossible to get anyone to replace her and I have been working six days a week. Not only that but I have also started my Technician’s Course which I mostly do at work but does flow over into home time too. I do have next Saturday off as it is Billy’s birthday and we’re all going to watch the rugby (not in France I hasten to add, just Glos v Newcastle) so the only day I get to spend with just with my daughter is Sunday. I am looking forward to it soooo much. I have something really nice planned and she is going to have so much fun. I can’t say what it is as she is in the room with me right now. I just relish the thought of being with my daughter, I find it hard to understand why other’s don’t feel the same.

Haven’t even looked at this site for a couple of weeks, almost forgot it was here in fact. But in the two weeks since my colleague died a few things have happened.

Working hours doubled
Obviously there were some hours that needed to be covered by someone and I said that I’d do it. I really don’t mind as I really enjoy my work and the people I work with. It’s just such a tragedy that it had to happen under such awful circumstances.

Gave up my OU course
I had to really. Working 6 days a week and an impending 2 year work related course really made it impossible for me to carry on with the OU. I can go back to this in the future though so all is not lost.

Got a pay rise
Yep! 50p an hour extra for the moment and increasing throughout the course up to an estimated £12 an hour which will do me very nicely thank you.

Lost half a stone
I’m not sure where it’s gone from as all my clothes still seem to fit the same. I checked my weight on many scales though and they all say that I’ve lost half a stone.

Applied to do the Race For Life
Not only did I apply for me, but Maisie is doing it too. This will be very interesting to watch as Maisie moans on the way to school that she’s ‘tired’ and that her legs ‘hurt’ and school is literally just down the road. Look out Maisie, here come 3 miles of walking!!

So that’s it in a very small nutshell. I’m going to listen to Bobby Darrin sing Mack The Knife very loudly now. It’s a need that must be fulfilled.

Today has been most bizarre. My boss called me this morning to ask if I could go into work early. He said that my work mate had to go to hospital, I automatically assumed that she was taking her daughter who is asthmatic. I got to work as soon as I could and everything was normal. About an hour and a half later my work mate’s brother came in all red faced. He had obviously been crying. It turned out that my friend’s daughter hadn’t gone into hospital at all, it was my friend, and she had died. She was just 2 years older than me and died from a brain haemorrhage at 9.30 this morning.

I hadn’t worked with her too much as she did the opposite shifts to me but we always had a giggle when we swapped over. She was so bright and bubbly and so full of energy. She was about to get married this year and had a gorgeous daughter who is just 6. I just cannot believe that she has gone, just like that.

Today was a day of shock, I can see tomorrow being very philosophical.

This is a new blog. I am a bit confused here as it’s very different to other blogs I have been on, but I am sure I will get used to it pretty soon. If you stop by then say hi and I’ll have a look at your blog too.

A xx